turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
