i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry about my life...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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