I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
