so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
