if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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