I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
