i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
