he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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