Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize