Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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