hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
God, I missed his penis.
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