We're like a lot better than the average bears
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
