she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
