did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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