This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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