i barfeds in our rink
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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