spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
false alarm, still single
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
