i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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