He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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