saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize