There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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