How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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