We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
