I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
