I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
