I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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