So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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