I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
