she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
