this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
