The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
