Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
