Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
