Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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