i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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