I puked a lego.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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