hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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