Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
