So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
