"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
