I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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