you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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