You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The Olympian is in my bed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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