i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
