Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize