? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
