Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
