i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am available for nakedness
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
