I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
