whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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