so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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