small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
