Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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