No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My vagina just recognized that song.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
