Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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