he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
