Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My vagina just clenched in fear
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
