So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
