i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
