I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
