people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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