I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We had sex on a dog bed..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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