she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize