I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
