Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
