i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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