So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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