I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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